Comments on: Your Wife’s a Gold-Digger – Is She Evil or Just a Forward Thinking Strategist?

By: Budgeting in the Fun Stuff

Budgeting in the Fun Stuff — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 17:04:22 +0000

I didn’t marry for money (we too were broke college kids), but I would move on if my husband ever stopped contributing long-term to our mutual happiness. He would too. We love that about each other.

We have mutual financial goals and expect each other to contribute. We’re a team. You can’t stay happy if one team member is purely selfish.

If that makes us gold diggers, hand us a pickaxe or two…

By: Financial Samurai

Financial Samurai — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:30:00 +0000

Great picture! Honestly, that’s all I saw…. Will have to read more of the article when I get time.

By: Darwin

Darwin — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 04:44:33 +0000

@kayla, Finally! A woman to validate my hypothesis! And thanks others for comments as well. But, looks like Kayla was living the inequality situation and is now much happier (congrats!).

By: kayla

kayla — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:18:04 +0000

LOL.. Interesting post…
I will have to tell you that I married my high school sweetheart out of pure love and ended in disaster.. cuz the dude :
1) refused to go out and earn money
2) didn’t want to learn new stuff
3) played video game at home all day long
4) refused to help with housework cuz he is a man
He felt he was entitled to have a “work free stress free life” because I have a Ivy league grad school degree and makes 6 figure salary. So he was like, ‘well, you love me, so feed me forever!”

I had to divorce him. Pure love is a joke… doesn’t get you anywhere…

So there ended my “Prince Charming” dream since I was a little girl…

I am married again and I made damn sure my new husband is a college educated, ambitious and responsible man who will share the duties to support our family together. And tell you what.. This marriage is soooooooooo much better!!

By: jim

jim — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 21:42:59 +0000

If expecting your spouse to have a job or not be a slacker is really the same as gold digging then I think most men are guilty of it too.

BTW, I found a site that cited census statistics that said as of 2007 about 53% of couples had the same education level and 19% the husband had more education and 28% the wife had more education. Article “New Economics of Marriage: The Rise of Wives” from Pew Research Center. Though they only looked at 30-44 year olds for some reason.

By: Monevator

Monevator — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 10:10:04 +0000

Saying women go for success gets you a ton of grief, which is completely weird since study after study shows they do, both in real-life situations and also in analysing say the personal ads.

That’s not to say they are more shallow than men at all – the same studies show men put far more emphasis on visual attractiveness, and it’s hard to get more skin deep than that.

(Obviously these are all generalisations – but I think the broad trends are true, especially in the short term).

One thing I’ve learned though is ‘success’ doesn’t necessarily mean money.

What women really like to see is drive and passion. In our society that’s most often reflected in money/status, but it might also be reflected in a passion for the arts, or for children, or for charity or similar.

Perhaps it’s just me, but the women I’ve met who I’ve clicked with can’t stand a slacker, or someone without *any* direction.

If that sounds obvious, think how many times a man will fall for the cute but completely screwy or ditsy woman who bats her eyelids and doesn’t know where she’s going in life.

Most women would run a mile from the same man, IMHO. (Maybe after a few dates for fun!)

By: ctreit

ctreit — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 13:45:40 +0000

I agree with your wife in that gold-digging itself cannot be segregated from everything else 100%. Maybe it is the character traits of the guy that attracts a woman even before the guy becomes successful. A winning personality, a good sense of humor, intelligence, etc. are all attractive traits and many successful people have those exact same traits. This is no different than in the animal world, is it, Mr. Darwin? The strongest/most successful male gets the girl and with some species (aside from our own) the girl even gets to decide whether the male is successful enough. Bottom line: gold digging in its wider sense is a perfectly natural selection process. And one more thing: I don’t think only women dig for gold, guys also dig for gold or at least a trophy.