Comments on: Family Money – Fairness vs. Favoritism in Gifting, Wills and More

By: Laurie

Laurie — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 02:28:28 +0000

These are good scenarios that present a common moral predicament often
faced by parents whose adult children don’t fare equally well in life. I have rarely seen any articles on the topic of favoritism where the gifting is switched and the lion’s share is given to the most successful child, while the one that struggles is neglected. I wonder how common that is and what the answer to that should be.

By: Christian Personal Finance

Christian Personal Finance — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:27:21 +0000

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By: Four Pillars

Four Pillars — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:14:54 +0000

Some interesting scenarios. I agree with Len – in the first scenario I would probably just split it equally. Although Len is right – the ‘drifter’ might just piss it away.

By: The Best of the Best in Money and Personal Finance #8

The Best of the Best in Money and Personal Finance #8 — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:12:08 +0000

[...] presents Family Money – Fairness vs. Favoritism in Gifting, Wills and More, posted at Darwin’s Finance, saying, “This article considers the controversial topic of [...]

By: Len Penzo

Len Penzo — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:50:11 +0000

I believe in fairness always (for the first two scenarios).

The biggest risk in the first scenario is that the Drifter, having already proven himself to be personally irresponsible, would most likely quickly squander away the bulk of his inheritance anyway.

Great article, Darwin!

Len
Len Penzo dot Com

By: Darwin

Darwin — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:07:40 +0000

Good points – agree that nobody should go through life “expecting” any sort of inheritance. It’s a ridiculous way to live and if you’ve lived responsibly, by the time you inherit something if your parents make it into their 70s or 80s, you shouldn’t even notice the money anyway due to a lifetime of responsible saving/investing.

Aside from that though, when the heirs are left looking at each other and seeing that they were treated very differently (deliberately) in the will, wouldn’t you think that might foster some sort of resentment? In some cases, I presume one heir would be indifferent and wouldn’t care. In other cases, I think they’d wonder whether it was fair – whether they needed the money or not.

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:41:00 +0000

Great scenarios.

I think that in the first case, each son should get the exact same amount. Parents should not use their will as a tool to reward children for “good behaviour” on the one hand, or make up for deficits in children’s behaviour on the other hand. Equal division is the only fair way. Any other division send a message to the children that can be wrongly interpreted in too many ways.

Gift when the parents are alive are different. My parents are free to spend their money as they choose. I know for a fact they have helped out one of my sisters in the past. I am doing fine and don’t need their help. That’s what parents are for.